This article is designed specifically to support you in tackling one of the biggest obstacles that may come in your way as you work on developing your confidence and changing how you live and interact with others.
Learning how to enjoy being you and how to enjoy being with others can feel great!
Gaining even small degrees of freedom in our actions and expressions can allow us to do things that we never thought were possible.
When we read an article or a book, it can change our life. We may feel so empowered by our new insights that we decide to go out and be who we are without fear – to boldly show our true self to the world. And make no apologies!
But what happens when we go out and begin sharing who we really are?
It's scary! We feel anxiety!
So what happened? I thought we had become so empowered by our insights?
"Argh!" We think to ourselves, "I have failed again! I'll never become confident! This self-help stuff doesn't work anyway!"
So what caused this misalignment between our desires and our reality?
There is a difference between opening up to new possibilities through insight and inspiration and actually being able to translate them into action and experience.
Why is there such a gap?
One reason is that we live in physical bodies. We are not just mental beings. We don't just think and it is so. We must use our thinking to create physical results.
Our physical experience in the body can take time to catch up with our new beliefs and convictions.
Anxiety has established habitual pathways in the body and brain. And they can be activated automatically. Even if we have embraced new beliefs, captured inspiring dreams and convinced ourselves that we can indeed be confident.
Success, then, requires us to step back from our very real experience of anxiety, to realize that it is a manifestation of our old beliefs – habitual reactions engrained in the body and mind. And then to seek ways in which we can continue to pursue the realization our new beliefs until our bodily habits begin to catch up.
To solidify our understanding of this gap between inspiration and reality, let's use the example of weight loss.
~Losing weight takes time~
Let's say that a person decides they want to lose 30 pounds.
To begin with, this person probably had a set of beliefs and behaviors that led to the accumulation of the extra 30 pounds on their body. And let's say that the most influential belief was that eating healthy was not important to them in their life and to their goals.
But now the person believes that they need to eat healthy because losing weight is important to them.
They feel inspired by this new insight and have already chosen a new diet to follow and even gone to the grocery store to stock the kitchen with healthy food.
But have they lost any weight yet? Has their body dropped the 30 pounds? No.
If you have been inspired to bring your full self into the world, but continue to feel nervous doing it, remind yourself that your experience may take time to catch up and know that success and confidence are still yours – even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
So from this discussion, we could say that physical results are not a good indicator of success – at the beginning.
~Vision, self-love and inner calm~
In order to make it through the pain of this transition period – how can we strengthen our commitment to the future despite what we may be currently experiencing?
Vision, self-love and inner calm – these are tools we can use to bolster our resolve and strength when our experience hasn't yet caught up with our desires.
What is the vision you have for your life? What can you do to experience more love for yourself? How can you make inner calm and relaxation more of a habit for you?

About The Author

©2005 Sarah Malik is dedicated to helping people reduce their anxiety and increase their confidence, so that they can experience freedom and self-expression - No matter where they are and no matter what they are doing. More information is available at: http://www.createyourownconfidence.com - Note to editors: Please feel free to create a live link to this article.